Charlton Heston Died

You might think that on an occasion such as this I wouldn’t have much to say beyond “well, that’s one less right-wing person with a gun to hide from,” and yet I cannot really go there. Charlton Heston provided me with many, many (many) hours of amusement as a child and young adult. Because my favorite movies were Ben-Hur, The 10 Commandments, and The Greatest Story Ever Told. All of these had Charlton in them, and he made them ever so much funnier with his earnest overthetopness.

Even before I heard the thing about how Ben-Hur and Massala were gay, I though BH was an awesome flick. Between the Jesus theme music and the bad acting and the chariot race! Best scene ever.

And what wasn’t there to make fun of in The 10 Commandments? Charlton being as unconvincing a Jewish person as one could be? The beard? The random, unnecessary, but totally hilarious romance sub-plots? (Moses, Mooooooosessss, Maaaaooooosessss!!!) Also, Yul Brenner played his role to the HILT and outshone everyone. And by the end you want him to win just because he looks so damn sexy.

And need I say anything more about Greatest when I mention that Charlton spent a majority of hsi screen time dirty as hell while standing next to a large body of water? ha!

I love and will continue to love these movies. Thus, I’ll always be grateful to Heston for that. Hope you’re having fun shooting quail with God, dude. Or, you know, whoever.