Thrilling Thrillers That Thrill

By:  TempestElsewhere on the Internets
Thrilling Thrillers That Thrill

I was catching up on my blog reading yesterday when I came across an old entry on Query Shark. If you follow it, you probably remember this from earlier in the month:

Scott Harris gets the shock of a lifetime while burglarizing the Mayor’s home when he moves to the cellar and finds a tortured prostitute shackled within a catacomb of horrors, and documents entailing a vicious plot to take over the U.S. government.

Reading this engendered such a violent bout of hysterical laughter that I had to put down my Samsung Galaxy Tab(tm), otherwise I would have dropped it. I still haven’t recovered, and now my chest hurts. Immediately following this is a note from the query mistress that this sentence would have caused her to stop reading right away. But since I’m not an agent, I was eager to continue. The query just gets more and more WTF as it goes along. Another favorite bit from the post:

Query: As a result, Scott now has Orlando’s most dogged investigator, Detective Stone, hunting him like a voracious hawk coming in for the kill. This leads to an exhilarating game of wits as Scott continues to steal, barely escaping the relentless pursuit of Stone.

Agent: None of this has anything to do with what you said in the first paragraph. Added to the list of things I don’t believe: a game of wits with an Oxycontin addict.

Right on.

I’m kind of amazed at this person’s ability to string together so many wildly improbable scenarios into one narrative. Even though the query isn’t great and the book sounds dubious, I feel like there’s an inkling of something there, if only someone would get this person to stop piling it on in an effort to create THE MOST THRILLING THRILLER THAT EVER THRILLED, THRILLA!

Zira’s Heart, Shannon’s Life Force, and Tempest’s Back

By:  TempestMy Fiction

Several bits of fictiony news for you! First, I’m experimenting with self-publishing short stories as eBooks just to see what the process is like and to feel out interest in this arena. I have no plans to completely abandon sending my stories out to magazines and such. But there are a few stories that I love and still believe are good, but I’ve run out of markets for them. One such is Zira’s Heart, which is a bit too long for most markets. So, I decided to submit it to Smashwords and get it listed in most major eBook stores to see how that goes.

Shorts never receive the same kind of attention that books get in these situations, but I still think it could be interesting (and fun). I uploaded it last night and it’s already in the Smashwords catalog. Now I’m waiting to see if they’ll accept it for distribution to Amazon, B&N, iBooks and the like. I put the cover and link up on the sidebar of my site and I’m tracking how many clicks it gets. I’ll report as time goes on.

In other news, I don’t know why but I keep forgetting to blog about my first Escape Pod story! Elan Vital, which first appeared in Sybil’s Garage no 6, was podcasted in Escape Pod and read by Mur Lafferty. I’m completely excited to have cracked that market and really glad Mur is the editor now, as I enjoy her other podcasts quite a bit.

I did not intend to actually listen to the piece since I always get emotional even looking at that story. But as several people had praised Mur’s reading of it, I decided to listen to just a little. I ended up listening to the entire thing (crying almost the whole time, arg). Mur is fantastic, as others have said. She strikes the perfect notes all the way through. I’m so lucky! All of my Escape Artists stories have been read by such excellent and talented people1.

The discussion about my story is filled with people saying they really loved it (squee!) and some who bounced off hard. I am amused, however, by the person who said early on that the story “isn’t science fiction“. Also amused by the person who pointed out that, whatever happens in the future, he is sure companies will always find ways to charge us subscription fees. Too right.

Over at the Biology in Science Fiction blog, the poster asks “What would you be willing to give to keep someone you love alive?” which is more the center of my story than the actual science. I do enjoy some hard SF now and then. But I’m in the camp of people who think that the science or technology in SF is meant to serve the characters and the plot and the idea, not the other way around. Too much Star Trek as a child?

And finally, this weekend I went to Macy’s in my quest to find a new mattress (as described here) on the advice of those who said they had great deals. Those people? Have a weird idea of what constitutes a great deal. Nothing below $1,000 in the quality I need, and salespeople who didn’t even want to admit that they might be able to sell me a mattress without a box spring. They looked horrified that I should want such a thing. My old box spring is clearly inferior to anything they have. Cue eyeroll.

PayPal being under attack by Anonymous affected a couple of family members from donating to my mattress fund last week, but I think that’s over now. Yay? I haven’t even looked at the account yet since a bunch of people sent me a note saying they wouldn’t be able to send money until next week or so, which is fine. I’m going to ask my new roommate to help me flip my current mattress tonight and try to sleep on the less fucked up side so that my back will stop screaming at me in the night.

Here’s what I don’t get: how did we, as humans, survive all this time without natural latex memory foam individually-wrapped coil mattresses? I mean, this is crazy. There must be a solution for sleeping that is not bad for your back and also comfortable. Also one that does not cost $600+. Fie.

Footnotes

  1. Yeah, that’s right, Amal. I am talkin’ about you. Whatcha gunna do about it, huh? [⇧]

My Back Is Crying

By:  TempestGeekitude

As I mentioned previously, I am in need of a mattress. Not having found any other viable option for collecting money from folks who want to contribute to buying it for me, I’ll have to go with PayPal and just deal with the fees. Since I have a business account, they are unavoidable. *mutter* Hopefully whatever people can give, it’ll cover what PayPal takes.

I spent this weekend visiting mattress showrooms in an attempt to find something that didn’t cost too much that was also comfortable all while trying to avoid used car salesman tactics. I still have one place to visit later this week, but it looks like the mattress I’m going to buy is this one from Keetsa, even though it is over $650. The less expensive one is nice, but too squishy for me. And considering my back problems, I need the firmness most of all.

My back is very upset with me right now because I spent the whole day showing it what things could be like at night, and now I have returned to my horrible, sagging mattress of doom. My hope is to buy something just after Christmas, if the money is available. Though Keetsa doesn’t appear to have sales ever. Bummer.

Anyway, I set up a donation button on my blog so my family can easily find it. I’ve let everyone know that I don’t want anything for Christmas except funds toward the mattress. I don’t know whether they will be able to give me enough to cover the cost, but every bit helps. Everyone’s belt is tight, I know. At this point, I am considering selling stuff just to make this happen, before my spine decides to disintegrate.

My World Famous Risotto Recipe

By:  TempestGeekitude

I’m contributing risotto to Thanksgiving dinner, and I could not find my piece of paper with the recipe on it! Good thing I posted it online a couple of years ago. Here’s a repost of that post with not only the recipe but how I came to make the best risotto in the entire world.

People often ask me about this recipe because my risotto is FUCKING AMAZING. I keep telling them that the whole thing was a work in progress and the ability to make it exactly like mine depends on several factors, including location. But still, I am not one for keeping amazing food a secret.

First thing I will say is that anyone who doesn’t know jack about risotto should first find the Good Eats episode wherein Alton Brown explains how to make it. It’s called Do The Rice Thing. You don’t need to watch it so much for the recipe, but for his explanation of technique. I try to explain technique and people look at me funny.

The basic recipe comes from Alton, of course, and you can find it here. I do not put in asparagus and random wild mushrooms. I do not use dry white wine. I do not use onion, lemon zest, or nutmeg. I do use the rice, tho!

Here is my recipe, modified from Alton’s:

6 cups chicken or vegetable broth, stock or Pot Liquor
1 cup Barbadillo Oloroso Sherry
2 tablespoons unsalted butter/duck or bacon fat
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
2 cups Arborio rice
1-2 cups mushrooms or anything you’d like to try
1 cup meat of some kind
2 ounces grated Pecorino Toscano Fresco

In an electric kettle or medium saucepan with a lid, combine broth and sherry and heat just to simmering. Keep warm. In a large 3 to 4-quart heavy saucepan over medium heat, melt the butter/fat. Add the rice and stir. Cook for 3 to 5 minutes or until the grains are translucent around the edges. Be careful not to allow the grains or the onions to brown.

Reduce the heat to low. Add enough of the sherry and broth just to cover the top of the rice. Stir or move the pan often, until the liquid is completely absorbed into rice. Once absorbed, add another amount of liquid just to cover the rice and continue stirring or moving as before. I usually have to pour in about 4 – 5 times. It should take approximately 35 to 40 minutes for all of the liquid to be absorbed.

After the last addition of liquid has been mostly absorbed, add the mushrooms and whatever else and stir until risotto is creamy. Remove from the heat and stir in the cheese. Taste and then season, to taste, with salt and freshly ground black pepper.

Interested in the long journey between Alton’s recipe and mine? Continue reading “My World Famous Risotto Recipe” →

5 Reasons To Support The Octavia E. Butler Memorial Scholarship

By:  TempestGeekitude

There are just two days left in the fundraiser for the Octavia E. Butler scholarship. Over on the Carl Brandon blog I provided folks with 5 excellent reasons to support the scholarship either by buying tickets to win an eReader or autographed book or buy donating directly (as Jeff Vandermeer just did). Here’s a taste:

3. from Rochita Loenen-Ruiz, 2009 Butler Scholar and Clarion West alum:

“I remember telling people about how receiving the Butler Scholarship made me feel like my dreams had been given wings. …[Without it], the chances of me attending Clarion West would have been close to zero.

…

To me, being given that scholarship was like receiving word that there were people who believed in me and in the stories that I had to tell. There were people who believed that what I had to say was something worth saying and something worth listening to. This knowledge inspires me even now that I am far away from all the beloved people who inspired me and who continue to inspire me. Each time I sit down to write, I think of the people who support the Butler scholarship and there aren’t enough words to say how thankful I am for you. You may not be aware of it, but in my darkest moments, the knowledge that you believed in me has kept me here.”

5. from Jeff Vandermeer, author and Clarion instructor:

“The Clarion workshop is important for reasons that go beyond the value of in-depth workshopping from six different experienced instructors and talks by other guests that provide talented beginners with the tools to improve their writing.

It is also important career-wise because many of the instructors can be of use in shortening the path to publication through sharing of contacts, resources, and leverage. Many instructors also aren’t just writers but editors, which is also of use. In addition, the connect to and comraderie with fellow students will, over time, mean more than being part of a community, since many Clarion students go on to have full-on writing careers.

Therefore, in short Clarion is partially about access, and lack of access for talented writers due to monetary concerns is something that diminishes the field and makes it even harder for talent to win out.”

Click here for all 5 reasons. Or just click here to buy tickets.

How Much Does It Cost To Go To Clarion?

By:  TempestGeekitude

We are in the final days of the Butler Scholarship fundraising prize drawing! We have raised a lot of money! We need to raise more! Why? Well…

In order to go to Clarion in San Diego, a student must come up with $4,957. In order to go to Clarion West in Seattle, a student must come up with $3,200.

Every year the scholarship pays for one student to go to each. Thus, many thousands of dollars are needed. Thus, this fundraiser.

There was no specific goal in mind when we started this project. I wanted to raise at least $1,000, which is a little over what I raised for the scholarship last year. Now my goal is to raise enough to cover tuition for one student. It would be awesome to be able to cover the Clarion West tuition. But how much more awesome if we could raise enough to cover the Clarion Diego tuition? It’s possible.

If you’ve already bought tickets, thanks! Would you mind spreading the word far and wide? If you haven’t already bought a ticket, please do! Or, if you just want to donate, you can do that as well.

It costs a lot to go to Clarion. In this way, you can help offset that financial burden and support a new writer.

How To Go About Raising Money For Personal Reasons

By:  TempestGeekitude

For a little less than a year I’ve been needing to buy a new mattress. Mine is old, it doesn’t support my back, and for the past month has been the cause of much severe back pain. Since the holidays are upon us, I’ve decided to ask my family to chip in toward getting a new mattress, which is going to cost somewhere in the realm of $500 even though it is only a full size bed. Bah.

My dilemma is this: I want to give them an easy way to send me money electronically. PayPal is out because they take a portion of the money in fees. I’m willing to pay some fees, but they take too much. I was thinking of some system like Kickstarter, where it keeps track of how much has been raised so far. But I feel like that is for actual projects, not just a personal “I want this thing.” Given that Mary had such a terrible time with Fundable.com, I’m a little afraid to try another similar site without knowing anything about them.

Does anyone out there know of a site where people can send money and see how close the fund is to the final goal and etc? I’m looking at ChipIn.com right now but, again, I know nothing about them and I am wary.

Clarion West, Money, And Me

By:  TempestWriting
Clarion West, Money, And Me

We have just 7 days left before the Butler Scholarship fundraiser ends. I won’t post about this every day, but I’m going to post about it three more times. This is the first.

Here’s a story I’ve told before, but it bears telling again. When I applied to go to Clarion West, I was at the tail end of a very difficult, life-changing year. In 2002 several things happened to me. The first is that I wrote more short stories in one year than I ever had before, thus making me feel like a real writer. The second is that I realized the whole working full-time for a blah job just to pay the bills thing was not cutting it in the keeping myself intact department. The third was that I got cancer, which put thing one and thing two in perspective right quick.

The cancer I had was caught very early, was eliminated by an operation, and thankfully required minimal aftercare to deal with completely. Still, that kind of thing will knock you on your ass in a minute. I decided that I needed to get out of New York and leave my job behind and focus on being a writer. And step one of that focus was to go to Clarion.

I applied to both Clarion and Clarion West. I did not have much money. Certainly not enough to cover tuition. Especially after paying to get out of my lease early, paying for a U-Haul, and leaving behind steady income. I started a “Send Tempest To Clarion” fund, and my generous friends donated. But I still did not have enough to pay tuition. I was willing to take out a loan, even at a high interest rate, because I knew this was important for me to do.

I got accepted to both Clarion and Clarion West. I opted for West because three of my heroes were teaching there that year. I spoke to Neile (one of the co-admins) on the phone and told her that I did need financial assistance if there was any, as I had little money. My thought was that if scholarships could cover just 1/3rd, I could get the rest somehow. Neile called me up shortly after I filed my financial aid application and told me that my entire tuition was covered. Not by the normal scholarships, though. A person had paid my full tuition. Someone who wished to remain anonymous.

I can’t remember if I cried right there on the phone or held it until after, but I did cry.

I do remember asking Neile to convey a huge thank you to that person when she called. I repeated this entreaty when I finally got to Clarion West all those weeks later. And I believe I’ve mentioned it on this blog a few times, too. But it bears repeating again:

Thank you, whoever you are/were. That was such an amazing gift.

Going to either of the Clarions is a giant commitment. Not only do you have the cost for tuition, but many also leave behind jobs, houses, apartments, family, financial obligations. And there’s no guarantee that going to the workshop will result in you getting published or going on to be a full-time writer. Of course, it’s not all about the writing. At the Clarions, students get to meet important people in the community and network, which is important in any career. And you make connections with the other students, who may go on to become great writers as well. Or, at least, really good friends and supporters.

Not every awesome spec fic writer went to Clarion or Clarion West. But it is an opportunity that many decide to avail themselves of and then benefit from.

When that anonymous person paid my tuition, I felt like she or he was saying to me: your voice matters. I believe that enough to give you thousands of dollars. Prove me right.

This is why, ever since its inception, I have been a supporter of the Octavia E. Butler Memorial Scholarship. Each year, this fund does for two students of color going to Clarion and Clarion West what that donor did for me, which is to say: your voice matters. It matters so much that we are going to give you thousands of dollars for this chance to improve your writing and meet people in this community who will further support you.

Except this time the money doesn’t come from just one person, it comes from hundreds, maybe thousands. It comes from those of you who have already bought tickets to win an eReader. It comes from those who don’t particularly want an eReader, but are willing to donate directly to the fund. I hope you’re one of those people.